Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Allergy - a play in three acts.

Act 1
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(In the restaurant, Monday 29 March, 12.30)

Fish:         I'm a fish. Eat me! Eat me! I am yummy!
Anairam:  Yes! Gobble, gobble, gobble. Yummy!
Fish:         Hehehehe. (laughs in an evil fashion)

Act 2
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(In the car, half an hour later)
Anairam: Wow, I have a splitting headache, it is really bad.
Anairam: And my lips are feeling funny.
Anairam: Gee, my heart is racing.
Anairam: Wow, I am burning up. Do you have the heater on?
L'Usband: No. You look weird.
Anairam (looking in the mirror): OMG, look at my face! Look at my face!! It is blood red with streaks going down my neck!
Anairam (lifting up her shirt): OMG, OMG. Look at my stomach. It is covered in these hideous red blotches!!
L'Usband: Aiyeeeeeeeee!!
Anairam: Aiyeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Act 3
------
(At the doctor, half an hour later)
Doctor: You look weird.
Anairam (lifting her shirt): Ha! You've seen nothing yet!
Doctor: Aiyeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Nurse, bring the syringes! Immediately!
Doctor: Jab, jab, jab.
Anairam: Ouch, ouch, ouch.
(In the recovery room, an hour later)
Doctor: Well, you had a narrow escape. You arrived just in time. But luckily I saved your life.
Anairam: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Doctor: Here is the bill.
Anairam and L'Usband: AIYEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

16 comments:

Aris said...

I feel bad that I am laughing, that's awful,but you are so funny. So glad that you are okay(:

nathalie et cetera said...

oh no! I hope it's not all fish! happy you are okay too!

frayedattheedge said...

Oh poor you - I do sympathise .... prawns make me throw up (and throw up, and throw up ....)

frayedattheedge.typepad.co.uk

Sarah said...

You have made a funny story out of something which actually sounds very serious! What is that film with Will Smith where this happens? He is some kind of matchmaker. Glad you got to the doctor's in time!

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leenie said...

Eeesh! A serious brush with death! Someone in the kitchen wants you gone. Order a hit on that chef...and the doctor's billing agent. So glad you are recovered enough to have fun with the experience and even turn it into great art. I think most artists would like to be buried with a pencil in case they get bored. I would. (wonder if that is why there are things drawn all over the walls in Egyptian tombs?) Anyway hope you are okay now.

Shannon said...

i'm glad you are better...but gee whiz that was one expensive fish!!

Linda Sue said...

Oh Dear! That is bloody awful!
when Erik was little My friend was cooking trout in a fry pan- asked erik," What does it feel like to catch a big fish?" Erik replied.' not like love..." -Fish retaliation...What was it that triggered your reaction?

oneartistjournal said...

Oh that is a very sad story told very funnily, way to process an experience...another good thing that came out of it is this awesomely telling artwork...very expressive words and image..
XOXOrly

Nicky Linzey said...

You shouldn't write this and make us laugh - it's serious! Hope you are ok now.

L'Atelier said...

I laughed so much when i read this! but seriously are you ok? glad that doctor saved your life!

~Valentina~ said...

Oooiisschh!! I feel so bad for you.. and I was laughing :( Sorry!!
Yes, I'm so happy the doctor saved your life. I hope you and your pocket are feeling better now ;)

Blahdiblah said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, it was a Very Serious thing...I didn't realize it was such a very close shave... it must have been a terrifying experience, A. So glad it's all over now but what a thing! I hope you're still going to be able to carry on eating seafood. Lots of love to you.... Lana

Freshly Found said...

My husband also had a bad reaction to eating fish - I think it was yellow tail too. It involved a trip to hospital in an ambulance after collapsing on the pavement outside the restaurant.
Later, we found that other diners in that restaurant had had bad reactions to the fish that night too!

●• Thereza said...

OH my god Anairam, i know exactly what you mean as i had the same allergic reaction once. my cause was prawns... scary, isn't it? i escaped narrowly too.

hope you're well now :)

Alexandra Hedberg said...

oh no - it must have been so scary

... but you made me laugh the way you told the story (and I had a suspicion you were ok as you could write about it)