Friday, July 24, 2009

Weekword: Time

Update 27/07: Valentina will choose the new weekword!

I was not really in a drawing or picture-making mood this week, so for this week's word I decided to build something; to use my considerable scientific skills and to exercise my left brain a little.

Dear friends, I give you my Time Travel Machine (TTM).

Fig. 8a - Anairam's Time Travel Machine

In the spirit of open-source I will reveal how easy it is to make your own:
Equipment: You will need an empty cereal box, scissors, tape, and any odds and ends that you have lying around. You obviously need some kind of switch to activate the quantum generator that will kick the machine into life; I used the inside of an old light-switch. The interesting thing about quantum energy is that as long as there are some wires and stuff sticking out, it will work. See Figure 8b below.

Fig. 8b - Quantum Generator Switch

Instructions for building: Cut the cereal box into sections and tape together again. The size must allow you to comfortably sit in it once you have transdimunified(*) yourself. Cut a hole in the top for the hatch. That is where you will get in and out. If you use a detergent measuring cup as I have, it also makes for a neat observation bubble. Stick all the other bits to the box. (See Figure 8a above.)

Important Note 1: Do NOT put labels on your own TTM - I have merely added them in the picture for your edification. The labels burn off when the TTM enters black holes and quasars and this can severely affect the direction of your machine. Which means that instead of landing up in the Future, you may land up in the path of a herd of dinosaurs charging across the savannah. Trust me on this.

Important Note 2: I am not sure that the exhaust is necessary, but I had to use up at least one of my considerable stash of toilet roll inners.

Important Note 3: I haven't quite refined the Time Selector yet - so at This Moment in Time (haha!) you can choose between Future and Past, but where exactly in the future or past you are going to land up, is anyone's guess. I have managed to get a sort of fine-tuning thing going though. (Yes, I know what you think that blue disc is, but no, you are wrong. It is the Fine Tuning Dial.) You can therefore select to end up on a particular weekday (out of a set of four) somewhere in the future or past. I think that can be pretty handy, don't you?

Important Note 4: Be sure to cut a little hole in the box and mount the quantum generator with the switch on the INSIDE. This is for obvious reasons, and if you can't work out why, you had better drop your dream of becoming a serious scientist. Rather spend your time lying on the couch watching old StarTrek episodes.

Instructions for use:
1. Set the time selector to where you want to go in time, and fine-tune using the blue dial.
2. Transdimunify(*) yourself.
3. Get in, close the hatch, and press the switch of the quantum generator.
4. Wait a couple of seconds, open the hatch and get out.
5. Enjoy yourself. Make field notes. Take your time!!
6. Remember to come back (and tell me where you landed up).

(*) Okay, here's the thing. I haven't designed the transdimunifying unit (which is to reduce yourself) yet. Thus far I have only tested my TTM on a couple of ants I found in the garden. From the dazed and confused expression on their little ant-faces when I let them out again, I conclude that my TTM is a great success.

For other interpretations of time, see: Linda Sue, Anne, l'atelier, e, Sarah , Thereza, Trinsch, Valentina, Lisa, Fruenswerk & Nathalie & asphaltair & lea & aimee &esti! (If I've left out anyone, please let me know and I'll update the list.) Fantabulous - I can't wait to see everyone's entries!


Sarah said...

I love it! Funny and clever! I have always wanted to travel in time though the risks do concern me! Testin on ants sounds a god idea! I'd better go and put mine up as I'm in the list. See you later in time!

Sarah said...

testing good-I must proof read!

●• Thereza said...

scientifically funny!!! hahahaha

lea said...

very clever and funny contribution anairam! i enjoyed every bit of it.

trinsch said...

lol! loved it! so clever :)

Freshly Found said...

I am terrified to try. What if I don't get back to here and now?!
You are the best! What an innovation!!!

nathalie et cetera said...

I haven't laugh that much reading a blog in a long TIME. I'm happy I took the TIME to read it. I had a really good TIME doing it! Thanks!

~Valentina~ said...

This is just perfect! So Clever :)
*LOVE* it.

Anonymous said...

I love it - I'm still laughing!! Your sense of humour just shines through (No, I didn't say that you're as mad as a bag of spanners) (I don't really know what that means, but a friend says it a lot and I think it sounds good!) Have a good weekend, love, Anne

aimee said...

fantastic!! i love how your mind works! (sorry i missed this great word... but as you can guess... i ran out of TIME :))

Linda Sue said...

Ok, I think that I have successfully transdimunified- quantum generator- A-OK..However I am am having a bit of difficulty with my newly acquired antenae and craving for a picnic lunch..Perhaps something has gone terribly wrong...check those ants that you experimented with if you can find them...see if they have yellow hair...
Other than that I LOVE your machine and so glad you thought about placing the switch on the inside.That was good thinking!

I am procrastinating because I know that the ferry line will be long. Still have to pack.
Thanks for the GREAT invention, we so need inventors like you on this planet- now that you have time under control perhaps you could work on a fat pill- you would be very popular indeed!

L'Atelier said...

Hahaha! your should build yourself an anttranslasionator and we could aske them what they saw!
this is the coolest, funniest and most amazing interpretation on the word time i ever thought possible

oh the watch face on my photo is in burgstreet, the zooming by car in walestreet, agapanthus were in kirstenbosch :) while i was liying in the grass and enjoy an still moment in my life

great word thanks! happy weekend

FruensWerk said...

WOW haha...this is funny...You used your TIME in a fantastic way...:)))

FruensWerk said...

p.s. Esti is on weekword too :)

curious girl (lisa) said...

you are the greatest!!! I thought A LOT about time this week, but never got around to transforming it into a post. oh wait, I guess my post is about time...I'll go back and tag it for wordweek.

e said...

heehee. so cute! love it!

Anonymous said...

Wow!!most impressive..With such a right brain that I am I'm always trying to balnce..get some left brain action going's hard..Now that you have the time machine built where is it taking you?

Cynthia said...

This is so complicated! What an effort and lots of energy...are you going to regain some of your recent or far off past? Or do you want to go forward? <3

Esti said...

i love this! i truly love this! maybe i can get the girls to make one with me... maybe we could travel back and forth and discuss things and plan life and laugh and play... thanks anairam!

kendalee said...

Genius!!! I'd love one of these - going to start gathering the goodies to build one, and now that you've tested it on ants, I'm confident it'll work!

The word verification is noopt - wouldn't that make a great word for weekword?

asphaltandair said...

you're such a wizard when it comes to thinking up twisty tales and witty wonderments!
this is super fab!