I decided to choose a word for this year ... bold.
No ... bold.
No ... BOLD.
Because I am quite a bit taller than average, people think I am bold, fearless, someone to be reckoned with. Also, I have a strong nose, inherited from my father. And an embedded frown, which I suspect people think is bad attitude or sullenness. Actually, it is because I am fair-skinned and blue-eyed and from a very young age I can remember the sun hurting my eyes. So the frown is really a squint against light. Someone I worked with once told me that I inspired awe, marching down the corridor, coat-tails flapping, frowning fiercely...
But truth be told, I am as timid as a mouse.
I don't speak up. I don't really stand up for myself. I avoid confrontation when I can. I am always afraid of offending people. I am sometimes too aware of What People Might Think. I am embarrassed to show people the things I create.
Instead, I hide. I belittle my own efforts, making a joke of it. I compromise. I bend over backwards so far that you can tip me over with a tap of the forefinger. A pushover ...
Blogging changed some of that. I am not afraid of showing like-minded people my journal pages and doodles and drawings anymore.
Also, reaching this milestone helped. I started not caring as much what people think of me - my opinions, the things I do and make and wear and think.
This year, I hope to live more boldly.
I hope you do too.