Monday, January 4, 2010

Bold.

I decided to choose a word for this year ... bold.
No ... bold.
No ... BOLD.












Because I am quite a bit taller than average, people think I am bold, fearless, someone to be reckoned with. Also, I have a strong nose, inherited from my father. And an embedded frown, which I suspect people think is bad attitude or sullenness. Actually, it is because I am fair-skinned and blue-eyed and from a very young age I can remember the sun hurting my eyes. So the frown is really a squint against light. Someone I worked with once told me that I inspired awe, marching down the corridor, coat-tails flapping, frowning fiercely...
But truth be told, I am as timid as a mouse. 
Squeak, squeak.
I don't speak up. I don't really stand up for myself. I avoid confrontation when I can. I am always afraid of offending people. I am sometimes too aware of What People Might Think. I am embarrassed to show people the things I create.
Instead, I hide. I belittle my own efforts, making a joke of it. I compromise. I bend over backwards so far that you can tip me over with a tap of the forefinger. A pushover ...
Blogging changed some of that. I am not afraid of showing like-minded people my journal pages and doodles and drawings anymore.
Also, reaching this milestone helped. I started not caring as much what people think of me - my opinions, the things I do and make and wear and think.
A start.
This year, I hope to live more boldly.
I hope you do too.

18 comments:

Veja cecilia said...

great choise of word anairam!

nathalie et cetera said...

who knew you were so shy? your art is pretty BOLD, so the rest will follow I'm sure!

Leenie said...

Good word. At least you have tallness to give you advantage in boldness. I'm sure you've gained someinsight and self confidence with that rose milestone. I'm behind you in BOLD. Just don't ask me to be confrontational or brave about defending that right. Squeak squeak. <:o

frayedattheedge said...

Good luck in being BOLD!! As a child I was very shy, so I have terrible posture from hunching my shoulders and looking at the floor.

at swim-two-birds said...

I can easily understand what you're saying here, i have the same problem, but blogging changed my life completely, it feels i finally found my medium and my selfconfidence.
Good luck to you of being Bold:)

Sarah said...

Oh I love this post-you know how you said I am positive anyway-well I thought you were pretty bold! So I must be positive and you must be bold! Reading this it could be me talking-I do exactly the same thing of belittling myself-especially about art I make because it is so hard to explain to people-even sympathetic interested ones. Which is why I love the blogging world I have stumbled upon so much as people are interested and encouraging and understand. So I wish you lots of positive luck in your year of bold!
By the way-one of your wishes for your friends has already come true for me-the one about good hair days. I am so overdue for a hair cut that I am having to wear my hair up as it is so straggly. But I received at least four compliments today! Hmm-strange!

Linda Sue said...

I would not have thought you to be shy, introspective and polite, empathetic and keen but not shy...Glad to hear it- I have been shy around people all my life- I did not speak until i was three, I hid from everyone especially Santa and my Dad.I am short and stubby like a troll so nobody ever expected much from me. I think that you have grown well into your stature and you can now look people squarely and let them know what is effective and what is unacceptable -One neighbor comes to mind and when you are through with him you may come and sort mine out.
Shy people make the best poets and artists...

Linda Sue said...

What ever became of word week? Perhaps you could start it up again with "BOLD". I don't have a word for the new year unless "murder" counts as some glorious weighty noun to aspire to rather than just a humble little verb...

Renee said...

Bold ahead dear Anairam. You sound wonderful to me. Now to be wonderful to you.

Love Renee xoxoxo

tjoekie said...

What can I say, dear Suzi but agree that the Sisterhood of Sw... pants all have a timidness about us! We'll stand together and enjoy displaying our boldness in 2010!

kendalee said...

Excellent word Anairam! I have this image of you standing tall and feeling tall - bold and beautiful! Like all these things we seek to enhance, I think it's something that becomes more likely with consciousness and easier with practice. You've started that journey here, so you know you have it in you! I find boldness so appealing in others but so hard to be, so I think this word is a fabulously brave choice. One might even say, bold! Go girl, go!!!

aimee said...

superb!! this post itself is a bold start!

~Valentina~ said...

Ohh Anairam super great word! I'm still thinking on my word, but so far I think my word should be Confident this year..
Love you post!

Aris said...

You rock!!!! IT's high time you realize it. So no more bad copies only BOLD copies!!!

kat said...

What a wonderful post - a great choice of word and a great challenge for the new year. Go go go!

Whipping It Up said...

OH I LOVE THIS post M!!!!

Had me smiling and giggling... your descriptions and imagery are totally fabulous.

Mwah!

gracia said...

Yes! Here is to living more boldly! I will try to follow suit, and as someone also who squints in the light and can be mouse-like, I am keen to see what comes of a life lived a little more, a great deal more... boldly.

Freshly Found said...

It's good to be back here again. I am so glad you have shared your creative talent. It has certainly meant a lot to me and I have found it very inspiring! I enjoyed your BOLD Resolution for the year. It gave me some inspiration for how I put together my blog post today!