Monday, January 12, 2009

A little grey cloud ...

A anti-creative fog has befallen me. A gloominess of spirit has descended. I start contemplating the meaning (or meaninglessness) of existence. I start to obsessively search for all the bad bits in the newspaper (it isn't difficult). Like a little grey cloud I carry it above my head - I feel people stare at it. They may even point. I think it has something to do with all that creative zing I experienced during the last few months of 2008, and the excitement of xmas, and now I am all zinged out. No ideas, no inspiration, no nothing.


The best thing for me is to ignore it, and hope that like a pestering child, it will eventually give up and go away. I know that another best thing to do is sit down and create something. But I just do not seem to be able to do it. Do you ever lose your zing? How do you get yours back?

14 comments:

Sarah said...

Do something different. Get some fresh air. Go for a walk with your camera down local streets that you have never been down before because they are not on your route. Watch funny videos on youtube.
Even though you have lost your zing you have done a very sweet little picture of it and that's a start. Hope it comes back soon!
Also I am pleased Rapunzel and her friends finished their long journeys to you-they left the UK on 30th December so they flew over the new year. I am really pleased you like them.

Linda Sue said...

Oh my, I understand- I am right there with you trying to tread water until the sun returns- fresh out of creativity- though I have made more pages (they all suck) nonetheless, I am making them -I decided to give the book to a friend who is going through chemo at the moment,adding pages with that in mind- also Curious girl is posting a colour week that has given me a nice diversion from this perpetual lump in my throat... You might want to do that as well just for ...diversion. I empathize with you- be glad that you don't live up here in the real grey dark wet cold downer!
I love your drawing it is wonderful- I see pink in that cloud!

Linda Sue said...

oh and another thing- a puppy on your lap would certainly help...(get a pup!)

up and down town said...

liar.
if you drew that, you're hardly tapped.

Freshly Found said...

The good thing is that you express your lack of creativity in a very creative way!
But you are right and I identify with what you are saying. I realise that creative expression is a privilege - so many emotional, circumstancial[?], mental, inspirational and other ducks need to be in a row!

Anonymous said...

Relentless zing is exhausting and also makes the rest of us feel like dull grannies. Welcome that grey cloud (and yours is rather cute), stare at the sea. If it's "le reveil mortel" that has sounded - read Julian Barnes's "Nothing to be frightened of".

svetlana said...

O dear Anairam do not be sad. In my country we have the many fog and grey clouds. I put my nice fur hat on my head and walk outside and then the grey cloud sits on this hat. Then when I take off this fur hat at night there is the cloud sticking on the hat and not on my head. So then I vacuum the hat! Please believe that this can work!

Linda Sue said...

I don't know why but when ever there is a bit of a life challenge Sesame street songs pop into my head - all day! Your post has me singing "Cheep cheep Chirp Chirp cheerup cheerup cheerup" It's driving me crazy!

Jesse said...

I think it's an essential part of having creative moments. Just wait it out, it'll turn round before you know it. I find doing something mechanical like drawing, just drawing whatever's in front of you, gets things going again. Oh, and cleaning the house almost always works, too.

Anairam said...

Sarah - Thank you for your ideas - I am going to do the street thing - I realised when I read your comment that we have been living here for almost three years and I only know our own road (and the road down to the beach)- so there is much to explore! Thank you so much for Rapunzel and friends!!

Linda Sue - Oh, thank you, dear friend - it is good to know that you are treading water next to me! That means we can also share shark-spotting duties ... Giving your book away is such a wonderful idea - your friend I'm sure will treasure that gift! I am grateful that we have such beautiful weather here - there is really no reason for me to be depressed and down in the dumps. I'm feeling better already! Thanks for pointing me to the colour thing - I took my camera with me today but finding purple things were a bit difficult, I took some other nice pics though! I will try again tomorrow ...

up and down town - Yes, you are right, I'm not quite there yet! But I recognise the symptoms and know I have to get myself in hand. I wrote the text in the morning when I was really down in the dumps and eventually forced myself to do a drawing in the evening, because I know that the best thing to do when I hear the black dog barking in the distance, is to do one tiny thing, which will lead to another tiny thing, and after a couple of days, I've chased that bad old dog right away ... (which is not to be confused with linda sue's puppy, which is a good, happy kind of dog!)

freshly found - You have said it so well - all those ducks having to be in a row. And the weird thing is to try and understand why you had it a few weeks ago, and now it's gone!

anonymous - Yes, it is a little bit like kids when they have that relentless energy all day long and then suddenly they are whacked and just keel over. Hmmmm, I don't think it is the reveil mortel thingie - for years now I have contemplated my mortality on a regular basis (I think it is quite a healthy thing to do and not morbid at all) - some Buddhists say you should meditate on it at least once a day. But I will still read Barnes's book - I like his work! (I've only read Flaubert's Parrot and Before She Met Me, though, and a collection of short stories).

svetlana - Oh, I so enjoy your comments! And I love the idea of wearing a fur hat. Of course it is summer here, so I'll wear my sunhat - I think the cloud will stick to that too, don't you? ANd I've already taken out my vacuum cleaner ...

jesse - Thank you for your comments - especially about it being an essential part of creativity. That is quite a different way of looking at it! But you are right - they are really two sides of the same coin ... I agree with you on the house cleaning thing. I so something similar - I pack cupboards when I feel miserable - it almost always makes me feel better. When I studied psychology I wanted to invent this new kind of therapy for clients - to unpack and repack cupboards - unfortunately nobody took me seriously ...

Eilandkind said...

mmmm, I would love to wear a fur hat to vacuum, like Svetlana, pity it is too hot here. :)

aimee said...

a bit of irony here - i've been inspired by your post about lack of inspiration! yes, i know this feeling well, and started a piece about creative block when i was going through it about a month ago, then inspiration returned and i abandoned it. but i think now i'll see it through to the finish.

i think sarah is right. doing something different will take the pressure off to create and will push your mind in a different direction. meanwhile your subconscious will be working on all sorts of creative things, and when the mood returns, you'll be ready to go.

and while you may be feeling uninspired, you sure managed one fine doodle here :)

sunmamma said...

I stopped watching the news and reading papers years ago. It used to depress me so! For me to stay happy this time of year, I need sunshine and warmth. I have a big south facing window in my bedroom and I spend alot of time near it. I even moved my computer beside it. I also take vitamin D drops as it is supped to help seasonal mood shifts.

Go out and buy yourself some flowers. Take pictures of them in all different angles to preserve their beauty!

xo Sebrina

Anairam said...

eilandkind - I love Svetlana's solution! I made a little drawing of it in my one journal today!

aimee - What a good bit of irony! I would love to know what that project is!

sunmamma - I have at different periods of my life stopped reading newspapers, but something always gets me back to them - currently I have to stay informed about the political situation here - elections are coming up soon. Also, I do not really watch TV or listen to the radio, and somehow I feel I should have an idea of what's going on in the world! Flowers - such a good idea!